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Okay. I went to MEPS for physical testing to join the airforce and....I PASSED! I'm getting shipped to basic January 6th. So I'm very nervous about that. >.< Also I'm getting the bracelet from the wonderful book New Moon. I'm pretty sure you know the series. lol My emotions have been all over the place. I've been from very depressed to overly happy. Seems from one extreme to the next. I have no idea why. lol. Well I've tried to get over alot of things relationship wise trying to move past the pain and hurt and so far I've done fairly good. But like any other person I have my good days and my bad days as I have stated. So that is all for now. I'll update when something else exciting happens. ^^

~FirePhoenix17 ^^

I guess its time to update this again. Well lets see I bought the Breaking Dawn and Acheron book. I even bought the Twilight movie shirt. It's so awesome looking. I had just came back from florida 2 days ago so that was pretty fun. I ended up getting sunburnt no suprise I guess. Soon I'm going to be 18 so I'm kinda nervous about that. Though November I'm going to a Dir En Grey concert so I'm happy about that. And October I'm also going to see the new Saw movie. And December I'm going to see the Twilight movie. So that makes me happy some. ^^ I guess that's it for now. *smiles some*

~FirePhoenix17

Okay I know I promised to stay posted but I've been quite busy as of late. My schedule is tied between taking care of my puppy, getting a driver's licence, and getting ready for the air force. Right now I'm filling out an application that they will look through and approve me. So far I'm nervous and all but I think once I finally get through the preliminary stuff I'll be fine. While on my track of growing up I have just purchased Vol. 20 of Fruits Basket. Now I know you are probably like "Why do you read that?" or something of the sort. I think it is because reading relaxes me and gets me ready to relax for the day. Soon I'll be purchasing Acheron by Sherrilyn Kenyon and Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer. Now you are probably thinking I'm a nerd or what not which is quite okay. Now in about 2 weeks or alittle less I'll be going on vacation to florida. Which if it all works out I'll get a nice tan the week and a half I'm down there. Also while on the track that is my life I found a few bands that I have come to enjoy and even some of my favorite bands have came out with new songs. Which has made my day considerably. Now that I have rambled on I must get off for a nice sleep.

~FirePhoenix17

Okay update. Yes I finally graduated. ^_^
And because of certain reasons I posted this song someone I hold dear to my heart wrote for me.
Hope you like the lyrics
~FirePhoenix17

-whispered-
Sssh... baby.
I'm hear.
Do not fear....

-sing-
Don't you fear
For i am hear
Don't you cry.
you will not die...

You shouldnt care
for what is not there
i tell no lies
just close your eyes...

Butterflies and rainbows
unicorns and dragons
sphinxes and faries,
fly high
in the sky!

do not fear
what is not there
dont you cry..

Do not care
for the monster
under your bed
do not fear
it in your closet

for, it. is. just. your.
Imagination
something that isint there
death is a lie
floating in the sky!!

Butterflys and rainbows
unicorns and dragons
sphinxes and faries
fly high
in the sky!

Dont you fear...
for i am hear...
dont you cry...
you will not die!

do not care
for the monster
under you bed
do not fear
it in your closet...

-whispered-
butterflys and rainbows
unicorns and dragons
sphinxes and faires
fly high
in... the... sky...

Okay I know it has been along time sorry about that. Well anyways down to business. This past week has been literally filled with blood, sweat, and tears. How you may ask? Well first let me tell about the wonderful thing that is happening in about 2 weeks. My graduation from high school. Yes I'm moving up in the world. Then in August I'll be going into the air force! Fun fun. Okay now to the blood, sweat, and tears. Just so you know it isnt all bad. XD

The blood : Well lets see my friend Rin has died last thursday. So I mourn him while I sit here among other things.

The sweat : I went on vacation last weekend. Man was it hot! So yes..I sweat alot. XD

The tears : Well my friend Rin's brother has decided that death is better then life and wants to commit suicide. Me unable to deal with any of this has been curled up in my room for alittle while now unable to even come out of my room.

Alittle pathetic? maybe. Do I want your critizing advice? Probably not. I just needed to get this off my chest.

Okay. I know I havent updated this thing and what not like I said I would but so much has been going on for the past few weeks. Well for one. I'm graduating in less then 3 weeks. Scary I know. T_T Also I have finals in 2 weeks. Oh goody....not. >.< Next weekend I'm going to Charlotte, NC to see the Coca Cola 600 Nascar race! So I'm looking foreward to that. Then in middle of August I'm signing up for the Air Force. *gulps* I'm extremely nervous as you can tell. So I'm going to be doing alot in the next 3 weeks. About time I graduated high school. XD Can't wait for the summer. I love the hot weather. I should move down south to be warm all through the year. Yeah right. I wish. XD Well talk to you all soon.

~FirePhoenix17

I stand here looking about my brown eyes glistening in the sunlight. My tears collecting in my eyelashes as I see you with her. I look away unable to breathe as I play with the small ring on my finger. You said you would stay forever but I guess forever wasn't long enough. I walk over to the both of you and wish you two a happy life as my heart breaks. I look away as you two send a secret smile. A joke glistening in your eyes as I feel like I have stepped into something that wasn't for my eyes. I kick the ground my hair falling infront of my face hiding my sadness as you laugh and joke around loving on the woman I thought as a friend. I turn my back on you both only to have you grab my arm and tell me to stay. I smile weakly turning back around trying to be okay with what the truth was but all I could feel was anger and sadness grabbing my heart and squeezing it until I can't take it anymore. I walk over to the lake sitting down looking at the water lap at the edges as you two sit together wrapped up into a warm embrace as I feel the ring on my finger getting tighter as I try to pull it off your laughter getting louder as I squeeze my eyes shut trying to avoid the tears from falling as the past comes back in full view. The way you looked at me as you proposed right at this very same lake. The way you held me just the right way when I was sick and just not feeling the greatest. Tears streaking down my face as I remember the way you would go and whisper "I love you" in my ear. I scream out as you turn towards me curiousity in your eyes. I jump up as your lover tries to catch me. My eyes red from crying as I scream and disappear from that spot. Running into the woods I rip a bottle of pills out of my bag and take them all as I collapse to the ground crying whispering "I love you" into the wind. The silence that follows cuts deep as I black out. Never to know if you made it with her or if you found another. My cold body left on the ground decaying never to be found. Never to be missed again. Tell me...do you regret a thing or wish this happened long ago?

Like it couldn't get worse. One I never finished my psychology paper that is due next monday. Just great. -_-' Also I now have to attend councling. My school says I need it because I'm suicidal. Well no offense but in this generation most of them want to kill themselves. But I'm the one who gets caught! What kind of bs is that? Anyways...I just attended my first session today. It was a waste of time and boring. >.> Hopefully this weekend will get better since I'm getting a tattoo!! =^.^= Also I'm still on the look out for the one I want to spend forever with. I think I'm making good progress. >.>
Well that was my week in a nutshell. I'll try to keep you all updated for alittle while. =^.^=

Okay. First post I've ever made. Yes I am new. As you can tell by my boring page. XD
Anyways I have been told I have passed my graduation project to leave school. Woo hoo to me. XD
Aside from that I need to pass my classes and sadly I haven't done any of my 3 papers do Monday for my classes. Bad enough they are already late. Oops..Did I mention I was a procrastinator? Well I am. Big time. I've been sitting here listening to my mom and her b.f fight thinking and I finally realized I'm alone and pretty much my life is...empty persay. I seem to be trapped in a giant circle and can't get out. I've tried trust me. So I came to the conclusion I'm leaving my mother's house and my job and moving to my father's house and get a new job. Maybe start over from scratch. My heart continues to beat for one person. Sadly they will never realize it or don't care. I'm not quite sure. Problem with my heart is it won't accept another. Curse of the summer love I suffered last year. And now I'm paying for it.
Anyways off that rant of my depressing love life.
I would like to say this site is enjoyable and I just can't wait to speak with everyone and just have fun.

Sincerly yours,
FirePhoenix17